WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
