Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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