So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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