Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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