worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
