Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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