I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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