But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
