How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
