Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize