Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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