You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
