The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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