I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
