I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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