Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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