party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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