am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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