weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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