No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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