i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Me too!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
