I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
