if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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