angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
