i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
