Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
