Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey. http://tfl.nu/fq2r
  Replies (3) Good night (2077) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails http://tfl.nu/8gop
  Replies (9) Good night (479) Bad night (4006)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina

  (214): View more from Texas

  i got awkward and finally asked him what he said

  (214): View more from Texas

  he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina (214): i got awkward and finally asked him what he said (214): he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it http://tfl.nu/s46y
  Replies (26) Good night (954) Bad night (5073)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  what day is it and did you see me today?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): what day is it and did you see me today? http://tfl.nu/sgc7
  Replies (7) Good night (6130) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon? http://tfl.nu/fld0
  Replies (66) Good night (7163) Bad night (1608)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/awvb
  Replies (8) Good night (2956) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way. http://tfl.nu/t9el
  Replies (24) Good night (7794) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library http://tfl.nu/04eo
  Replies (22) Good night (5322) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud. http://tfl.nu/70be
  Replies (10) Good night (2702) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome. http://tfl.nu/qq5z
  Replies (8) Good night (4284) Bad night (1755)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple http://tfl.nu/806d
  Replies (4) Good night (1681) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant. http://tfl.nu/1w7r
  Replies (16) Good night (1415) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do? http://tfl.nu/m41p
  Replies (4) Good night (561) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing. http://tfl.nu/bqm2
  Replies (1) Good night (366) Bad night (205)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls. http://tfl.nu/jxeo
  Replies (5) Good night (574) Bad night (211)

Randomize