I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
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You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
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We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.