Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.