Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time

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  (250): i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time http://tfl.nu/g1as
  Replies (19) Good night (2660) Bad night (712)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.

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  (850): You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist. http://tfl.nu/9a73
  Replies (18) Good night (2195) Bad night (775)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"

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  (270): At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back" http://tfl.nu/lhve
  Replies (9) Good night (4873) Bad night (819)
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  (646): View more from New York

  My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.

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  (646): My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS. http://tfl.nu/3g6q
  Replies (14) Good night (852) Bad night (6311)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  my professor just said "the power of the situation"

  (216): View more from Ohio

  drink

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  (574): my professor just said "the power of the situation" (216): drink http://tfl.nu/g82n
  Replies (17) Good night (5287) Bad night (866)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations

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  (216): Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations http://tfl.nu/f8qq
  Replies (18) Good night (5401) Bad night (754)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?

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  (817): would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping? http://tfl.nu/hbh2
  Replies (5) Good night (3893) Bad night (935)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman

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  (724): we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman http://tfl.nu/wgol
  Replies (11) Good night (3193) Bad night (1112)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.

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  (360): just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe. http://tfl.nu/xu32
  Replies (6) Good night (2389) Bad night (1004)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew

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  (585): Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew http://tfl.nu/mfmq
  Replies (8) Good night (3774) Bad night (844)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car

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  (773): It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car http://tfl.nu/9u20
  Replies (4) Good night (438) Bad night (867)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday

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  (724): On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday http://tfl.nu/c6y1
  Replies (3) Good night (1418) Bad night (459)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.

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  (802): Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/nv64
  Replies (1) Good night (457) Bad night (340)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation

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  (419): please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation http://tfl.nu/p3yb
  Replies (6) Good night (356) Bad night (257)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.

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  (513): My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low. http://tfl.nu/k9vt
  Replies (3) Good night (202) Bad night (446)

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