So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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