what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
