I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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