lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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