I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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