All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
