At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize