Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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