Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
