I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
