It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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