And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
