I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
