I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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