So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize