I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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