Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize