Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
