While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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