i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
