She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
