sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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