i may or may not be watching the land before time
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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