I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
