she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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