I need help removing her.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
