She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
