Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
